18 Chefs

Just finished suntanning just now. Too bad the sun didn`t really show up for long

This month the sun is really damn shy one. “The sun itself sees not till heaven clears.” 

Anyway, yesterday it was fun having informal cg at 18 Chefs. The food was as usual affordable and hot!! I felt sinful straight after eating the cheese baked rice. Now, I have to really work doubly hard at the gym. 

And oh ya, btw Tsu Yan is part of our cg now. So happy to have him with us. The more the merrier I would say May we grow stronger in faith together with one another, brothers. 

Looking forward to what rest of the week will bring me.

Finito.

ps: One website that u would find interresting: http://www.jesusdecoded.com/

Last day of exam for moi

Freedom starts today at 11.31 am for me. It was something to thank God for. I got severe headache as soon as I was done with my Engineering Economy paper. Thank God it wasn`t during the exam. phew. As I had prayed the night before, the sun finally smiled at me this afternoon, but the damn pool was closed, so no suntanning and swimming for me:( All because I forgot to pray about the pool. lol

I felt liberated as soon as I realized that I didn`t have to study anything for the next 7 weeks or so. So that means a lot of serious playing and fun all day this summer. Of coz, provided that I have no supp. God help me with this. I have given you my all.

First thing first, I have several tasks to take care of, beginning with…
Now less serious style of writing. I`ve learnt my lesson well. Like Whitney sings, “I learn from the best, I learn from you.”
I regret to say that the internet and the technology we have now has already taken a toll on me. Don`t let them destroy your life too. Now the devils of this era live inside these machines. It`s really up to you to either make use of “them” wisely or let “them” use you.
They can also destroy your relationships in a matter of minutes with a touch of a button, just like how the devil live to destroy your lives. Be warned, cos I have been there. Blessed were those who didn`t have to deal with these cursed machines during the olden days. There`s always a reason why there were no computers and internet during Jesus` time.

Monday papers

Sunday was the day I finally saw myself as a really hardworking good ol` boy studying for my double papers the following day. I still remembered what Joel told me earlier on Saturday, that I could just bullshit through MIO all the way. LOL. It was funny, the way he said it at least. haha. Yea I could..But I didn`t want to just scrape through it just like that. What if I nearly failed by a few marks? I would murder myself dead or alive. So.. I worked my arse off on Sunday for MIO and Decan which spelled ‘boring’ for me. But it was worth it. At least I knew I would pass and get at least a C or D+ if Heaven smiles at me from above.

God was really good to me. Linear programming, which sounds like it`s cousin, the much dreaded computer programming didn`t come out today for Decan!! something to rejoice for. Well, at least it seemed like a miracle to me. This happens only when you ask for it. hehe. Talk about the power of prayer and intersection. 

After the two papers, it was finally time for some serious shopping!! I went to Cathay and then PS. Bought my something something. hehe. Well, at least gimme a break from mugging this evening, can? lol. I still have one last battle to win on Thursday. Even Joshua and Caleb also took breaks and plenty of rest in between battles against their enemies. It`s a much needed rest to reflect and thank God for whatever He has blessed me with for the past few days. Fill me up with your manna and ammo for the battle, Lord, these few more days. I need them. Emmanuel. God be with us. =:3 chew and chew too.

Combined service

I wouldn`t say it was a perfect day yesterday. But God somehow made it perfect through our imperfect nature. Firstly, we didn`t watch the movie, ‘He is not that into you’ as planned before we went to Suntec for the combined service. Shuckksss:(  Something in me told me that I had to watch it. Cause I believe God can speak to me not only from the bible or through people, He can speak to me through any ways unthinkable. In the garden, in the loo, in the mountains and deserts, anywhere!!  And He can certainly speak to me through movies. Yes, it has happened before.:)

Anyway, after the service yesterday, we headed towards the Singapore Flyer for the Christian Bar. It was on the whole okay. I wasn`t pretty impressed with the whole ‘Christian Bar’ concept thingy. Truthfully, these are just labels and brands to me. The singers were pretty okay. I wouldn`t want to come across as aloof or anything. But I wasn`t also screaming, “OMG OMG!! they are incredible!! Lord!!” on the table. lol. Some of the drinks they served tasted like cough syrups to me. cough cough* hrmmphh

I hope I don`t sound like I am trying to boycott them here. Overall, it was a pretty decent proposal; going to the Christian Bar rather than… you knw.

Anway, outing with the whole unit together as ONE people ONE church body is indeed a very good experience. It was one of the rarest occasion where we felt more together and united as ONE. Guys will always be guys. We should do this more often. =:3

Love actually is…

“Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being “in love” which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.
- Captain Corelli’s Mandolin. “Love is the beauty of the soul.” –St. Augustine

 

-Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice but falling in love with you I had no control over. 

-Absence makes the heart grow fonder. I hate myself for hurting you. How true is this: That the ones that you love the most are usually the ones that hurt you the most.

boring

Boring.. I mean the day.

Meanwhile….

This song is for you.

Sorry seems to be the hardest word.

Yeah, indeed it is..

It’s sad, so sad
It’s a sad, sad situation
And it’s getting more and more absurd
It’s sad, so sad
Why can’t we talk it over
Oh it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word

98

Omg, my viewership suddenly jumps to 98 views per day. LOL

Just a random post.  Tomorrow is gonna be another boring day of studying. God, make this time fly past for me. This is hell.

Btw, something to look forward to. Mariah Carey new movie and song, ‘Right to Dream’. Pure inspiration I would say. And I love the way she sounds here. Something refreshing and raw.  

V day

The much dreaded V day is here again and I am saying this not because I hate it, but because of something less obvious to our human senses. On the surface level, V day means a day where you and your stead could go out and have a date, perhaps to spark or ignite a passionate relationship. Restaurants are fully booked and you get sick looking at tons of flowers carried by lovey dovey couples on the streets. See how much flowers are they killing just for the sake of rekindling your romance and passion for each other? Better save the flowers for better purpose. Leave them alone to reproduce and take a break during V day to romance and pollinate other flowers maybe? hmmm..

Anyway, today I could finally feel God speaking to me through the sermon on friendship and Love. I agree that friendships are real and eternal when they continue to stand unwavering despite any circumstances. And I regret to say that I have yet to see any perfect friendships like these in my life. Blame it on my part too. I have not been a very good friend. Sorry. 

On the other hand, exams are coming and hunting our heads down. Literally. And I could foresee many stressed-filled prayers fill the gate of heaven coming for the next two weeks, not mentioning supplementary weeks. God forbids.

And finally, I`ll make a pact to do what I ought to do after this period of sufferings and bondage is over. I have my reasons not to do so now because I have my perfect timing for everything. And everything I do has a reason. I am sorry. I am not an irresponsible person and I will not let myself get away with things. I`ll face it myself. I simply don`t wish to affect or distract anyone now. Wait they come blaming me for their failure..LOL

God save us all from these exams.

My sins, my confessions.

Yesterday after cg practice, I went into the garden behind the Business com lab just before praise to pray and ask for strength and self worth from God. I know that perhaps I am not the most perfect person to lead praise. Before I prayed, I felt very unworthy of Him. Unworthy that a sinful person like me could be given a chance to lead praise. This is what I usually do before anything like this to get right with God.

In the stillness of the garden, I prayed for forgiveness and confessed every single sin that I have done for the past few months or so. I knew that something, an entity in the garden was more powerful than I was. And as I began to speak to Him, something powerful happened. I felt more uplifted and powerful than I had been before I prayed. And as I looked up into the unbounded and endless sky, I felt the shame and guilt slowly melting away. All my wordly sins somehow just “evaporated” off my body. I am not saying I was without sin after that. I am still now. I sin everyday.  We all do.

I sinned yesterday, I sinned last week, I sinned last month, BIG or small, but the truth is that ALL sins are the same and equal in God`s eyes. I am saying all these as a man who is a sinner, unlike Him whose sandals I am so unworthy to unstrap.

I said, “I am sorry, Father.” to Him and All the people I have hurt in my life. be it people like my parents, friends, people I love. I said, “Forgive me for I do not know what I am doing or sinning for.” I know that He has forgiven me as I meant my words, but still I have found no certainty whether those whom I have tresspassed or sinned against would forgive me if  I do the same. After my quiet time last night, God made me realise something important:

“Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.” Romans7:17 (KJV)

“For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.” Romans7:18 (KJV)

I still remember what I said yesterday in the garden, “Forgive me for I DO NOT KNOW WHAT I AM DOING or sinning for.” And why I said this thing again? The answer is simple:

1. I do not have the intention to hurt anyone with my doings. (Romans7: 19-20)

2. (No 2 is removed due to some internal dispute) 

3. Hate the sin, Not the sinner.  

Read ‘Romans7:17-25′  to understand what I am trying to say here, because I don`t wish for anyone to misinterpret it. (You may want to read the King James Version which I find still contains the original meanings and compare it with the NIV version for better comprehension).

Romans7:17 Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.18 For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. 19 For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. 20 Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. 21 I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me. 22 For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: 23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. 24 O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?

And as you can see, that night, He gave it all to me. And I felt it was one of my favourite praise leading experiences ever.  Thank God for the fact that He has indeed redeemed me from destroying myself completely. I`ll know what I have to do now. Timeliness is the only key.

In no one else but You I find no higher truth and power.

My redeemer lives

Nothing very interesting lately. How interesting can this last week of school be?? with exams and project assignments coming our way..@_@ yeah sure…

Anyway, today we took a small break and decided to chill. LOL. The usual gang. Dun wish to reveal names. LOL

And Thank God. Even though I have so many things on hand; I have to redo my stupid eecmacc project and then I still have Music project and reflection to hand up, God has given me enough time to choose my songs wisely. I am ready for praise tomorrow!! =DDD

I realized that for these past few weeks, God has always been faithfully redeeming us out of so many things unthinkable, like from times of troubles, when we wish to escape from our nasty lecturers in school,  n when sometimes there seems to be no way. SO…this song is for Him.  

My Redeemer Lives!!!

Sun

Yeah, I can finally blog from my iPod touch!!!

music exam

Nothing to write about today..~_~..other than …

My music exam just now. 30%. I screwed it BIG time!! T_T. So sad and angry with myself now. Mariah and Mozart are going to scold me le …lol 

We had fun yesterday. I mean, went out with a couple of people. Made me so happy!! Ced, Michella, Sly and I had lunch at the Botak Jones at Someset youth park. The food there was simply unbelievable, not to mention good value for money. I ordered Pollock Fish and chips with 2 complimentary side dished. lol

Okie, going to service later and the Christian Bar after that!! How much more fun can it get??!! LOL. Gonna write about it. Definitely so blogable!!!

steamboat

Okie, just a quick update this week. It`s true that projects and assignments, not to mention the imminent exams are advancing right towards us like dark clouds. And they left depressed students like me unable to blog these few days. But God is always good to me, so yea.. Finally All my projects are finally submitted today! Not a single stone is unturned!! I can finally march without any burden to the exam hall next week awaiting my execution. Just one question remains, ‘Will it be a quick or slow painful, agonising death?’ We`ll see if God is really good to me.  @_@

Anyway, talking about my virgin steamboat gathering cum CNY reunion dinner with my cg mates on Wed, it was really a blessed one. Not to mention that the variation of meats on the table left us almost cannibalistic. Thank God for Nicholas who opened His warm and beautiful home to us. Yeah, warm..in both sense of the word..haha. I had to take off my jacket to reveal my body hugging singlet. HAHA 0_o

Thurs combined cg was a rather fun one too. I only felt one element missing. Hmm, I wonder what that could be..

All that is within me cries, to you O Lord, be glorified, Emmanuel, God with us.

My heart sings a brand new song, the debt is paid, these chains are gone, Emmanuel, God with us.

bird pooped O.O

I believe God was trying to speak sense into me on Sunday night. I wasn`t aware of it until a “toot” bird pooped on my singlet sleeve while I was walking home from Cineleisure. @_@ I was feeling sad, disappointed and in grief that eventful night, adding to the immense disturbance and agony that has already burdened my heart. I was displeased and disappointed with my stupidity and imperfections that mocked at my very existence in this material plane. C`mon, afterall, I am still human. 

I might have frequent strange encounters with quite a number of ‘things’ which are not of this material world. O_o And I somehow feel privileged to know this. Because that`s exactly how some people in this world realise that they know a number of things they shouldn`t know about, good or bad. =S

Anyway, back to the incident again. God knows that I have a phobia with anything that have something to do with chew know what. haha. And the fact that it happened to me on a peaceful Sunday night suggested the fact that something, whether in the spiritual realm or the material plane  wasn`t quite “happy” with me. As soon as the lithe bomb landed on my sexy singlet, (omg, I saw a dragonboat boy wearing singlet walking pass me as I am writing this!! u see? too much of a coincidence to be a coincidence.)  staining my nicely tanned shoulders and a bit of the sleeve, I was like, “I can`t believe God is using this to “tap” on my shoulder to wake me up and to speak sense into me.” Surely there are many other nicer ways, rite? like, He could try appearing before me as a burning bush or shine a very bright white light and make me blind like what He did to Paul. lol. Not bird poop. Oh, the horror!! But God is a good of infinite possibilities. In short, He can do whatever He o.0 wants.

Anyway, He was speaking to me a lot about relationship again. This time, I think he was meaning it. He revealed to me that like many of us, I was constantly chasing after relationships in this material world. Relationships that can`t possibly last forever.  Relationships that can only make us feel a fraction of the happiness and satisfaction of what God can offer us eternally.

He revealed to me that I was depending way too much on people that I like or love. And therefore as a result, I was in a way depending on them for love and joy, like some of us here. The truth is here. We shouldn`t have.

That`s why in this world WE constantly feel hurt, disappointment and sadness when things don`t work out for us. Or when our pretty or handsome crush, gf or bf don`t give us what we want, correct?? hehe. Material love can hurt us, conditional love all can hurt us eventually.

But certainly NOT God`s unconditional LOVE. How can a love that is unconditional, pure and perfect hurt us? When love is unconditional, it changes its state. It is no longer the love that longs for something back in return. It becomes the love that expects NOTHING out of nothing. This is Agape love.

I believe God wanted to tell me that there`s nothing in this world that can satisfy a hungry heart. But surely as the sun will rise tomorrow, God is eternally here, overflowing us with more than sufficient joy and comfort. Chasing after never lasting relationships is like chasing after the wind! Exactly. Now, I have understood it all more than ever now. Thanks to chew.