The Boy in Blue
A Boy in Blue
A boy clad in blue,
Like a pompous little ewe.
His strides ever so flamboyant,
But no one would call him a tyrant.
Innocence is in his look,
Truly an angel who hates any book.
A fidgety elf capable of such great noise,
Till all the teachers sound hoarse.
What incredible cataclysm he creates,
Not a time has he not come late for class.
Ecstatic hordes and throngs of admirers everyone sees,
Always seem to flock, never cease.
Poet: Marco Marcus 2005
Comment by the poet:
This seemingly straight-forward and down to earth piece of poem might seem a little bit too easy to comprehend but take no assumptions because if you read in between the lines with immense care and deep understanding, this poem would lead you to the real meaning and power of the complexity of the delicate human emotions and thoughts which reflects with brutal honesty of our first real encounter with human affection.
Additional commentary:
To the person whom I depict in this piece of literary work: “I do not have the slightest hint of time when you would finally fully realise and comprehend that it was actually you, the inspiration behind this, and who I had in mind when I wrote this. If you feel that you do, feel free to contact me even if it takes thousands of years.” (ps: I am not trying to be cheesy, corny or horny here…haha 
Just pure honesty and hard truth. )
kimchilover, 
Disillusioned Illusion and one other person are discussing. 
kimchilover 11:49 am on May 14, 2008 Permalink |
ooh, who’s the girl?
marcomarcus 3:24 am on May 22, 2008 Permalink |
haha…u`re very funny ..haha
kimchilover 11:45 am on May 23, 2008 Permalink |
i’m funny?i thought i was freaking hilarious!
marcomarcus 7:43 am on May 26, 2008 Permalink |
yeah …u made me laugh non stop the whole morning…haha
who are u btw ? if I may ask
marcomarcus 7:44 am on May 26, 2008 Permalink |
do u like my other poems too btw?
I wanted more ppl to see my poems, how can I do that ?
kimchilover 1:46 pm on May 31, 2008 Permalink |
who am i? that’s a secret i can never tell. you know you love me. xoxo. gossip girl….
bwahahaha! sorry, tt’s a secret! i have enemies all over that will sue me if they found me.
about your other poems, hm…i kinda like the feelings u describe in them, but i gotta tell you, they need work.and as for getting ppl to see your poems…well, keep blogging, and keep going and soon more ppl will see them. till then, good luck, kid.
Disillusioned Illusion 10:13 am on June 4, 2008 Permalink |
Agree with kimchilover. As a poet you have shown engagement with your works. Unfortunately, they are pretty raw now. Since poems are works of art, people would inevitably analyse your craftmanship. In other words, your expression is not so sophisticated as to reflect your idea in an literally artistic way.
As most of your poems are generally descriptive, I suggest you employ and develop a particular dominant image instead of enumerating a lot of adjectives and/or images. It would be more effective that way as it would strike the readers that your poem has a solid concept. Consider “Fury”. You did use the image of cage without developing the image so that the image would have left an indelible dominant impression on the reader.
Consider reading Sylvia Plath’s “Tulips” to see how she develops the image in a complex yet artistic manner.
Oh, and try not to rhyme every line of your poem unless it is purposeful, especially as the topic of your poem is light-hearted (“The Boy in Blue”). Even for “Fury”, I don’t think you should consistently rhyme every line as the rhyme dilutes the mental chaos the speaker undergoes. Strict rhyme scheme makes your poem as though it was written heavy-handedly.
Judging from your personality reflected by your poems, I recommend you to begin your writing odyssey through writing romantic poems. Read Wordsworth, Keats or Andrew Marvel for reference.
Keep on writing, it is rare to see an enthusiastic poet these days. You have the potential, but not yet the flair.
alvennito 10:16 am on June 6, 2008 Permalink |
Agree with kimchilover. As a poet you have shown engagement with your works. Unfortunately, they are pretty raw now. Since poems are works of art, people would inevitably analyse your craftmanship. In other words, your expression is not so sophisticated as to reflect your idea in an literally artistic way.
As most of your poems are generally descriptive, I suggest you employ and develop a particular dominant image instead of enumerating a lot of adjectives and/or images. It would be more effective that way as it would strike the readers that your poem has a solid concept. Consider “Fury”. You did use the image of cage without developing the image so that the image would have left an indelible dominant impression on the reader.
Consider reading Sylvia Plath’s “Tulips” to see how she develops the image in a complex yet artistic manner.
Oh, and try not to rhyme every line of your poem unless it is purposeful, especially as the topic of your poem is light-hearted (”The Boy in Blue”). Even for “Fury”, I don’t think you should consistently rhyme every line as the rhyme dilutes the mental chaos the speaker undergoes. Strict rhyme scheme makes your poem as though it was written heavy-handedly.
Judging from your personality reflected by your poems, I recommend you to begin your writing odyssey through writing romantic poems. Read Wordsworth, Keats or Andrew Marvel for reference.
Keep on writing, it is rare to see an enthusiastic poet these days. You have the potential, but not yet the flair.
marcomarcus 6:29 am on June 9, 2008 Permalink |
Hey ppl, thanks for viewing my poems, I appreciate it a lot!! and thanks to a few here who bother to leave nice and encouraging comments as well…:)
Thanks for the pointers,dissillusioned illusion or Alventino? haha . Both are strangely identical. lol. Due to my inexpertise in this area though, I will definitely read more poems. I love wordsworth a lot as much as I do love rudyard kipling.
My poems may appear a bit “blunt” or naive and I think that`s because of the heavy influences I got from love songs lyrics from the likes of Celine dion or Mariah !!
I am mainly a songwriter so to speak, not really an experienced poet..:)
and I write mostly song lyrics and I only write when i am feeling something, like when I am particularly broken hearted or intensely in love with someone and this is one of the reasons why my poems/songs tend to be a bit irrational, descriptive and expressive in nature. You might find a few of them like “Fury” to have been written in a bit of a rush and they might come across as very emotional rather than very soptifiscated. I like to write simpler lyrics which are easier for ppl to understand and relate to almost instantenously like any other songs you listen everywhere today like the hilarious and gregarious “touch my body”.
I can also write and express my feelings fast and with precision especially when I am feeling particularly “in the moment” . I`ll definitely hone and craft so as to improve on my poem and song lyrics writing skill.
Not to mention millions of thanks to those who contribute to my steady viewership and flow of comments:)
You ppl rock!!
Disillusioned Illusion / Alvennito / "What's in a name? That Which We Call A Rose" 4:10 pm on June 9, 2008 Permalink |
Hi, sorry for the fussilade of comments. I do not know that comments in wordpress will not immediately appear and are subject to your approval. I thought it kept bouncing. Well, patience is definitely not my forte, even though it is a public virtue. (Following this line of reasoning, you can see I am no virtuous, lol) You may delete all the identical comments if u wish.
“Alvennito” is my nick in wordpress. I logged on and re-commented just to no avail….. I was literally biting my nail in frustration.
If those writings are for song-lyrics, things become different, ain’t them? I do understand, thus, that you inevitably have to write more simply for commercial purpose and the “pop” trend. Let’s see what kind of tunes you will come out of with, hehehe….
Do not really like Mariah Carey’s “Touch My Body”… I love her in the 90s. Now she sounds like a Madonna wannabe… But her “Fly Like a Bird” in Emancipation of Mimi, fortunately, more than justifies why she could survive in the pop culture for more than 2 decades I suppose. As Terri Hatcher said after watching Mariah’s live performance in Grammy award, I feel being saved and redeemed after listening to that song. Her whistling is just out-of-this-world!!!!!
marco 8:09 am on June 10, 2008 Permalink |
Actually I know who Kimchi lover is …haha
just wondering..since when did rabbit like Kimchi??? haha. lol
Disillusioned Illusion / Alvennito / What's in a name? That which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet. 4:03 pm on June 17, 2008 Permalink |
Hi, sorry for the fussilade of comments. I do not know that comments in wordpress will not immediately appear and are subject to your approval. I thought it kept bouncing. Well, patience is definitely not my forte, even though it is a public virtue. (Following this line of reasoning, you can see I am no virtuous, lol) You may delete all the identical comments if u wish.
“Alvennito” is my nick in wordpress. I logged on and re-commented just to no avail….. I was literally biting my nail in frustration.
If those writings are for song-lyrics, things become different, ain’t them? I do understand, thus, that you inevitably have to write more simply for commercial purpose and the “pop” trend. Let’s see what kind of tunes you will come out of with, hehehe….
Do not really like Mariah Carey’s “Touch My Body”… I love her more in the 90s. But her “Fly Like a Bird” in Emancipation of Mimi, fortunately, more than justifies why she could survive in the pop culture for more than 2 decades I suppose. Her whistling is just out-of-this-world!!!!!
P.S Touch my body?? Gregarious?? U mean flirtatious?
kimchilover 2:38 pm on June 25, 2008 Permalink |
rabbit? i’m sorry, i have no idea what u are talking about.
marcomarcus 8:04 am on July 28, 2008 Permalink |
This poem is ambiguous…
Don`t be too quick to assume.